Flatulence

As reported in  a highly respected and very impartial liberal newspaper, the Democrats are now demanding yet another supplemental investigation by the FBI based on the reference to flatulence in Kavanaugh’s high-school yearbook.  The Dems want to know just how much Kavanaugh farted as a teenager, and demand that the FBI investigate every known acquaintance, friend, and teacher to get a complete picture of this very unfortunate and disturbing inclination when Kavanaugh was a young man 35 years ago.  The Dems feel that excessive flatulence are grounds for turning down Kavanaugh’s bid for the Supreme Court in order to protect the odor of that august body, not to mention the sensibilities of the current justices.

In a followup report by the liberal newspaper, it was revealed that, as a young man, Kavanaugh was partial to eating the flatulence-inducing Golubtsy — so there may be a Russian connection here as well.  Democrats call for further investigation of this Russian angle, for why would Kavanaugh actually want to eat Glubtsy unless the Russians had something on him?  The Democrats are eager to prosecute anyone who sold Kavanaugh Golubtsy so that they can convict them on every conceivable crime imaginable and then make them flip on the nominee — that’s American justice.  The Democrats also want the Justice Department to ignore attorney/client privilege and subpoena all the records between Kavanaugh and his private attorney so that these records can be used against the nominee — still more American justice.

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