Are You the Trusting Kind?

Still Together
Still Together

You know the type — people who doesn’t hesitate to do that falling backwards routine, into the arms of another person without really knowing that person or even if he is still standing there.  Another how-much-do-you-trust experiment is to find a straight country road with no traffic or an open parking lot with no cars, close your eyes, and see how far you can walk with your eyes closed before you open them.  It’s harder than you might think, even when you know there aren’t any obstacles in the way.  But may be for the trusting kind of person, they just keep chugging along, no problem, eyes tight shut.

The trusting kind of person is going to be heir to a number of bad outcomes just waiting to happen.  Friends are one of those bad outcomes.  Trusting friends without reservation sooner or later is going to mean a very big comeuppance.  After the disappointment, you’ll hear the “truster” say of the “trustee” friend who betrayed, but he (or she) was my friend, which translated in the language of trust means friends don’t behave that way — but, unfortunately, they often do.

The same happens with family members.  The truster gives extra free rein in the behavior of other family members because naturally they would never do anything to harm another family member, right?  Wrong again.  So such a trusting person is likely to get burned here again, especially with money matters.  It seems that family members don’t regard a financial debt with another family member as really any debt at all — it’s all in the family, isn’t it?

I won’t even go into the area of love and affection.  We all know that’s a minefield —  actually an extremely lucrative minefield — worth mining — for divorce attorneys.  There was a famous line in a famous movie where an older and experienced man advises a recent graduate on lucrative options for his future, and he utters just one word: “Plastics.”  I might have said instead two words: “Divorce attorney.”  There’s big bucks in the misery of those who trusted in love and affection — and lost.

So, for goodness sake, what does one really get for being trusting.  It would seem that it is a house of cards, a calamity waiting to happens, a fool’s errand.  Except I like the quotation, “If there is no trust, there is no us.”  That’s the conundrum in a nutshell.  The true value of your relationships with friends, family members, and lovers only happens with deep and abiding trust.  No trust, no real relationship, and so you will be marooned on a cold and unfeeling planet, really alone, that is, feeling very alone.  But with trust, there’s the possibility of connection, genuine connection.  That’s the wisdom of those who trust, in spite of the risks and the bumps along the way.

Quotations on Trust and Trusting

People, A Photographer’s Perspective by Henry Barnard

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